I had a bad day last week. It was so bad that it was ungood, and it was so ungood that I haven't been able to talk about it till now. It started off good, I saw Batman the Dark Knight. I'm not going to give any spoilers, so I'm going to be vague. My favorite scene was when the Joker set off a bomb. I feel that's safe to talk about to people who may not have seen the movie yet, because if you are surprised the Joker has a bomb, then you are an idiot and have never seen any of the flood of previews for this movie. The funny part was that the Joker was trying to act cool and blow the place up with an RC car remote as he walks away. He flips a switch on the remote and there's a small boom that does superficial damage to the building. The Joker turns around wondering what went wrong. He toggles the switch and then starts shaking the remote out of frustration.

Suddenly the remote works, there's at least a half dozen explosions that send parts of the building into the sky and levels half of the building. The Joker has this brown trouser look on his face like he went on a twelve change of underwear trip with only eleven pairs, and runs away. One thing I can't get off my mind is the Joker's pencil trick.

That night I went over to my mom's house to do some work for her. She had a bad power outlet, burnt out light, and needed her air filter replaced. Since gas is so expensive, I decided to spend the night, which meant sleeping in the couch. Well my Stepdad's kids decided to go to all night skate which doesn't end till Midnight and that's when this ungood day started. I couldn't go to sleep till after I picked them up. I tried to get some sleep but my stepdad's daughter passes though the living room, and turns on the overhead light, waking me up and blinding me. She then turns on the washing machine. After that, their four dogs start jumping and barking because they need food, they need to be walked, and their owners are to lazy to get out of bed and do it themselves.

After I walk them, I decide to take a shower and go to the apartment where I could get some rest. I was wrong. As soon as I laid down, I didn't even have he sheets pulled up, and Kelly comes into the room and says I can't rest now because she can't sleep, so she wants me to do some things around the apartment. Finally it gets time for her to go to work, so I'll be able to rest. I was wrong. She get's a call about someone wanting to meet with her, so she tells them she's busy but JR can come instead. I was going to just sit though the meeting, but apparently everyone wanted to take advantage of me being there to ask me questions. Finally it was over, but I was wrong about that too, because as I got up to leave, I was asked to preview a DVD. At this point, I've given up, so I agree, but it's not that easy. The DVD won't play on the computer, so I had to fix it first, then watch the DVD.

At this point I am too tired to go to sleep, so I stop by Wal-Mart to pick up a sleeping aid on my way back to the apartment. Since it's only one item, I get in the Express Lane. The person in front of me had their buggy filled over the top with party supplies. Here are some of the items I remember seeing in the buggy in front of me in the Express Lane: At least a half dozen two litters of soda, paper plates, plastic spoons, plastic knives, plastic forks, plastic cups of different sizes, at least a half dozen bags of chips, sunscreen, charcoal, lighter fluid, tin foil, hamburger meat, hotdogs, buns for the hamburgers and
hotdogs, mustard, ketchup, mayonnaise, pickles, onions, napkins, corn, green beans, baked beans, and everything you need to make picnic salads. Those are just the things I remember which was by no means everything because I started day dreaming while I was waiting in the Express Lane. The day dream was when my uncle gave me an impromptu crash course in flying. He owns a small plane with a wheel for the pilot and one for a co-pilot. As he is flying and I'm enjoying the landscape below, he says "Captain, take the wheel or we're going to crash." and he let's go of the pilot's wheel. I grabbed the Co-Pilot's wheel and learned how to fly. I quickly came to the conclusion that even though planes are going very fast in any direction, they do not crash because they fly at a different height depending on which direction they are going. Finally I got to buy my one item, and since it was less than a dollar, I used change. When the guy behind me saw I was paying in change, he gave me this "You S.O.B." look even though I had been in line long enough to calculate tax and had separated my change so I was able to give the cashier exact change as soon as she'd rung up my single item. What I can't understand is that this guy that was so mad at me for paying in change had two buggies, and did I mention the ridiculously large sign that said "Express Lane"?

I leave Wal-Mart, and I need to take a left to get to the apartment. There was one car coming from each direction, but the one coming from the right was going to pass me before the other one would get to me, so I planned to pull out behind the first car and follow behind it. As soon as I committed to the plan and was beyond the point of no return, the first car slows down. It was at the worst possible moment they decided to hit their brakes and slow down. To keep from hitting this idiot and to keep the other car from plowing into my door, I had to turn right as hard as I could to avoid the first car, then stomp the gas and make a left turn hard enough that the rear end of my car slid around me to avoid the second car from hitting me. So because that first guy couldn't drive I had to make a 90 degree turn to the right and then a 180 degrees to the left, just to make a left turn.

By the time I finally get back to the apartment and lay down, Kelly is back from work. Before I can get to sleep, she's turned the CD player on. I ask her if she can turn the music down so I can sleep. She say's she's sorry but she can't cook without music. Apparently she can't even use the toaster without having her music turned up to it's maxed volume. Woman, your ability to make a sandwich is not tied to your ears. After that, I asked her again to turn the music down, but this time, it's "I'm sorry but I want to do some cleaning and I need my music to clean.". You need what ∵ what the heck‽

By this time, I've given up getting any sleep any time soon since at this point it's not long before I have to get to work, and I've had no sleep for more than twenty four hours! I get some leftover hamburger steaks out of the fridge and heat them up for Amy and myself, since she hasn't eaten either. I sit down and take a bite, it's a little dry, so I go to the fridge for meat sauce. After using it I ask Amy if she wants any. She says no, so I put it back into the fridge. Thirty seconds after sitting back down, Amy asks if I can get the meat sauce for her. I asked her why didn't she ask for it when I was using it. She fussed at me for remembering everything, and asked me how am I to expect her to remember everything. Just the day before she was asking me if I was going to the 10AM Mass. I had said that I didn't plan on it, because I prefer the afternoon Masses. She had nagged at me for forgetting that I said I would go to the 10AM Mass. I asked her just when did I say anything about going to the first Mass? She tells me that I said I would last Friday while I was taking a nap on the couch. Am I loosing it?

You're only allowed to take Mass twice a day, so Father John Putnam takes the morning two, and Father Jean-Pierre Swamunu Lhoposo consecrates the two afternoon Masses. I don't see why this was such a big deal, so I say that I have to get to work, and I'll discuss it later.

At work I was so tired that I spent most of my time reworking a Batman Fanfic that I wrote. I rewrote a scene where Joker meets Mad Hatter in a room at Arkham Asylum, and then the Mad Hatter impostor comes into the room. I cant wait to finish it, but I don't know what I should do with it.

When I got home I went straight to bed, but before I could close my eyes, this scene plays out:

???: I need to use your laptop.

Me: Wha? I'm trying to go to sleep.

???: But I have to do it tonight.

Me: Then you take care of it. You're older than me, you can handle it.

???: I need your password.

Me: Hand it over, I'll type it in.

???: But I need your help.

Me: Amy... No. No... no... no... no... no... no... no... no... no... no... no... Amy... no... Amy... no... no... Amy... no... no... no... no... no... Amy... no... no... no... Amy... Amy... no... no... no... no... no... no... no... no... no... no... Amy... Amy... Amy... no... Amy... no... Amy... no... no... no... no... no... no... no... no... no... no... Amy... no... no... no... no... no... no... no... no... no... no... Amy... Amy... Amy... No... Amy... Amy... Amy... No... Amy... Amy... Amy... No... Amy... Amy... Amy... No... Amy... Amy... Amy... No... Amy... Amy... Amy... No... Amy... Amy... Amy... Amy... Amy... Amy... No... No... No... No... No... No... No... No... No... No... No... Amy... No... No... No... No... No... No... No... No... No... No... Amy... Amy... Amy... No... Amy... Amy... Amy... Amy... Amy... Amy... No... No... No... No... No... No... No... No... No... No... No... Amy... No... No... No... No... No... No... No... No... No... No... Amy... Amy... Amy... No... Amy... Amy... Amy... Amy... Amy... Amy... No... No... No... No... No... No... No... No... No... No... No... Amy... No... No... No... No... No... No... No... No... No... No... Amy... Amy... No... No... No... No... No... No... No... No... No... No... Amy... Amy... No... No... No... No... No... No... No... No... No... No... No... No... No...

*5 minutes later* No... Amy... No. I mean no ∵ no means no Amy!

Amy: But it's due in eight hours.

Me: Why didn't you ask me earlier today‽

Amy: I was busy.

Me: How long have you known about it?

Amy: Six weeks, but I didn't think about it till now.

Me: Six weeks ∵ you should have thought about it before now.

Amy: That's not fair!

Me: What do you say to me when I think about something at the last minute‽

Amy: Why didn't you think about this sooner?

Me: And if I tell you that it just came to me, you tell me that exact same sentence. "You should have thought about it before

now." You've done exactly that so many times, I've memorized it. How is this any different?

Amy: I'm a woman.

A hour later my printer prints out her paper and then tells me the black cartridge needs to be replaced. I set my laptop to hibernate and go back to trying to get some sleep, but my cell phone rings. One of the worst wake up calls is the cellphone call right around midnight that turns out to be a wrong number. Why is it so bad? With phone books built into cellphones, it should have never happened in the first place.

What's even worse? The midnight caller that's a right number. Why is it worse? They have to talk to you now, and they won't let you go to sleep till they're done.

What's even worse than both? The drunk midnight caller. Why? It should have never happened in the first place, and they still won't let you go to sleep till they're done talking.

This was a drunk midnight caller:

DMC: Is this Carolyn's number?
me: No it's not.
DMC: Do you know it?
me: No, call information.
DMC: That's 411 right?
me: Not, that's the number for the police, try 911.
DMC: Oh thanks man. I don't need to be callling the cops.

So after I got the drunk off my cell phone, I finally got to go to sleep. Too bad it was already Tuesday, and five hours before I needed to wake up. So for the entire 24 hours that made up last Monday, I got no sleep. I guess this is why I'm single, what do yall think?

I want to know how other people would deal with this.